An Educator's Survival Guide for Dealing with Difficult Parents
Pay attention. Follow instructions. Children and teens with ADHD often pay the price for their problems in low grades, scolding and punishment, teasing from their peers, and low self-esteem. There are strategies you can employ to help students with ADHD overcome learning challenges, stay focused without disrupting others, and succeed in the classroom. The answer: with a lot of patience, creativity, and consistency.
Then you can develop strategies that will help students with ADHD focus, stay on task, and learn to their full capabilities. Successful programs for children with ADHD integrate the following three components:. Your most effective tool, however, in helping a student with ADHD is a positive attitude. Finally, look for ways to motivate a student with ADHD by offering rewards on a point or token system.
To head off behavior that takes time from other students, work out a couple of warning signals with the student who has ADHD. Teaching techniques that help students with ADHD focus and maintain their concentration on your lesson and their work can be beneficial to the entire class. British Columbia Ministry of Education. Department of Education. Positive approaches to guiding behaviour aim to meet the needs which can drive behaviour rather than just trying to change the behaviour itself.
It is about communicating expectations and guiding behaviour in ways that involve:. The way you interact with your children every day sets the scene for how you guide their behaviour. A strong emotional connection means children feel they can talk with you about their thoughts and feelings without fear of criticism or rejection. They are more willing to cooperate and follow your guidance and to come to you for support or with problems. Strengthening the bond with your children taps into their desire to please you and builds trust and acceptance of your guidance.
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Children are more likely to meet expectations, boundaries and limits, when they understand the reasons for them. Give children lots of opportunity to learn skills and succeed. This builds their inner sense of worth, personal power and self-motivation.
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- 10 Strategies for Dealing with Difficult Parents.
You could:. First, pause and calm yourself before you respond. Take some time if you need to. Pausing and becoming calm before you respond to challenging behaviour can make a big difference. Next, help your child become calm. If they are very upset it means the thinking part of their brain has been overwhelmed by emotion. No learning can happen while emotions are high. It can be frightening for a child to feel out of control.
Staying close and just being with them helps them feel safe. This is not a time for talking or correcting. Soothing sounds and gentle touch can help young children become calm.
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If your child would rather be alone while they calm down, let them know they can come to you when they are ready. Show your child you understand how upset or frustrated they feel. When they are calm and feel you really understand them, they will be more open to your guidance. The more you respond this way, the better children will get at calming themselves. Acknowledging, accepting and naming feelings are important steps in learning to manage them.
This is an important life skill. While it might appear children calm down and control their behaviour in the moment, what really happens is they shut down their feelings. The behaviour is likely to continue as they mostly learn to avoid getting into trouble, rather than learning what is expected.
Behind all challenging behaviour is a feeling, need or desire the child is trying to meet in the best way they know how at this stage of their development. When you are both calm, ask them to explain things from their point of view.
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Their needs, beliefs and desires are driving their behaviour, even if you think they are being silly. Children have lots of desires, feelings and things they want, just as adults do. How can you respond to it? Often a closer connection with you is their strongest need. Say why the behaviour was not OK. Remind them of what is important in your family. An important part of positive approaches is involving children in finding solutions to the situation.
They will learn more when it is their problem to solve, rather than being told what to do.
Ask them how they think the situation could be resolved. Even young children can make good suggestions. Some of their ideas may be silly or funny.
Move on to the ideas that are workable and come to an agreement about the best solution. Children learn to control their behaviour in the short term for something that is more important to them in the long term, which is pleasing you and being closer to you. Learning to delay gratification and control a desire lays the foundation for self-discipline.
When you involve children in finding solutions they are more committed to making these work. They get better at solving situations the more they practise. Help children to be successful. Remember, any change takes time and they will need your patience and encouragement as they learn. Ask how they would like you to help.
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